I am a perfectionist.
It usually serves me pretty well, except when perfection is impossible.
Now, when it comes to my body and my personal life, I have learned to accept that things will never be "perfect" because they are outside of my control. My crooked nose and crazy kids are mostly due to the way they were made and there isn't a whole lot I had to do with that. Sure I can use makeup and good parenting to make the best of what I have, but it's not going to give me a new nose or different kids (which is fine, I kind of enjoy the crazy!)
So, I have learned to accept that I can't control all aspects of my personal life because they are usually dependent on outside forces.
Ok. Got it - moving on.
But what about my professional life? I have 100% control over the work I produce and whether or not I meet deadlines or objectives. So if I want things to be perfect, the only thing stopping me is, well, me. Right?
As an instructional designer you are your own worst critic - pretty much like most artists. So you will spent hours pouring yourself into a project to make it perfect and realizing the vision you had at the beginning.
However, while you are tweaking timing, and colors, and fonts, and adding interactions and feedback - you are blind to all the flaws that are going to sink the project - a lot like an author who proofreads her own novel only to have an editor return it with a bunch of typos.
At some point, you just stop seeing the mistakes.
So how do you deal? How do you pick yourself up and get back in the saddle when you've not only been thrown off the horse, but trampled to the point that you, and your course, are hardly recognizable?
Well, the way I do it is not at all professional - there are a lot of expletives and whining, sometimes tears. Thankfully I work from home and there is no one to witness this tantrum. After I've had my moment, I remember why I poured myself into the project in the first place - because I want it to be good. No, strike that. I want it to be great. I want people to finish my course and say, wow that was amazing.
So when you get negative feedback (and you will) - do whatever you have to, but don't quit. And don't retreat, and isolate, and feel like you have to do it alone.
In fact, the only way I was getting through my most recent setback was to reach out and ask for some support. I just needed someone to help me get started. Like when your car stalls, and you just need a push. That push is enough to give you the momentum to set you off to the races. Find someone who will give you the push, and lean on them when you need it.
You can be perfect AND vulnerable.